First Kiss


(Translated by Eileen Cham)


When you kissed me, I realized

That it was your first kiss with a man.

When you pushed me away

You pushed open

A door in your life – an ornate door

That you would not be able to open

on your own. What that kiss

told me

surpassed the sum of all my previous men



You have lingered too long in realms of straight-love, you are weary

Your body full of scars


Abused by the want for fights, for winning, for conquests 


you are someone else, You

are not you –

You are racecar covered in dust. I only wish

To wipe clean a window for your soul

For you to breathe through


Before you reach the corners of the racetrack

Before you go up in flames

And a kiss --
In that moment, did you feel

the forever? The forever that is in

the instance of a car crash. It was
the opening of a door

that could never be closed again.


Did you know that you were opening,

wiping clean a window for me too?

Like you I wish to recoil, to spit you out

The static on our lips and tongues, to spit as if

this is our last chance to spit spit and spit urgh it is as if

we are spitting out all of our innards and our past and present


none of us were able to


own the fight, the winning, the conquests – that moment

when you finally pushed me away

I understood –


That it was also my first kiss with a man

Who had never kissed a man

After all.